Dear Blog,

Sorry you’ve been neglected :<

I’ve started work – this coming week will be my fourth – and it’s been sapping all of my energy! It’s a fairly fast-paced environment, thus training me to have better time management, and this, I admit, is quite a fail for me. I’ve been enjoying it so far, the friends I’ve made at work have been great, just need to clear my head and move forward!


I was watching youtube videos of Jayesslee performing in Singapore, and one of it was featured them performing in one of the well-known Christian churches in Singapore. In it, they spoke of their experiences with God when they were at a campsite at the age of 15. God told the twins that he loved them and their family. To many, it may sound incredulous, because God is not physically tangible, but I believed in what they experienced.

When I was in Austin, I attended a weekend camp for Catholic students. It was a fun-loving group of people, but also with a balanced amount of sharing and quiet time. I knew deep down, I was eager for God to speak to me. I wanted to bridge the gap between us. I prayed and I actively sought but I couldn’t feel his presence. Soon, it was the last day of camp. The student leaders had prepared a skit, and we were to enter from one room to another with our eyes closed and standing in a straight line. The room was dark and you could hear people singing. Standing on the outside of the room, I felt insecure. I didn’t know what was to happen but at that point, I knew that I should close my eyes, let go and let God take charge. And I did. As we entered, we stood there and all the participants formed a circle to the ends of the room still with our eyes closed.. We continued to repeat the chant/song that the student leaders were singing, and as we did so, I truly felt that was how Heaven would be like. That was how the angels would sing. It would be as beautiful as that. I let my mind and worries free and I was surprised at what I had received. I once told my sister about this, and likewise, she believed me when I told her what I had felt.

I also distinctly remember that at one of the sharings that day, one of the student leaders spoke and with his message, he said to be patient with God and to walk along with him every step of the way. It resonated with what I was caught up with the entire week. At the end of the entire retreat, everyone sat in a room and people were encouraged to share their experiences up on stage. After a few people went up, I felt this strong urge to go up to speak. I remember Dulce encouraging me, and when I eventually did, I teared up as I spoke. I thanked Eugene who had done the sharing because I knew that God had finally spoken to me.

I just had to be patient with Him.

It’s difficult…

Yes, it’s difficult sometimes.

Why have things gotten much more difficult after graduation? I think the number one question that is on every graduate’sย  unemployed graduate’s mind is, “what next?” Maybe I should have been as job hungry and kiasu as those who found a job even before they graduated. Wrong move? I don’t know. Perhaps.

As much as I love lazing around, I find it slightly disgusting that I am not making the most out of my time when I am at home. Sure there are things to do in the meantime – go out with friends, take a chill pill, read, clean the house? Of course, apply for jobs. But hey, it’s not that easy as they make it out to be. You have to painstakingly source for them, and we all know that in our industry, it’s difficult.

Start from the very bottom? I guess. But we are after all, honours graduates at the end of the day. Gah, this lamenting seems to be going around in circles with no conclusive answer. I hate the fact that I seem to be at the losing end of things. Everything ahead is a blur and a huge question mark.

Yes, maybe I should really take a chill pill.

… but every minute wasted, is a minute that could be productively spent on work.

…and yes, another minute wasted.


so i’ve been away for a pretty long time. i meant away from this blog, and of Singapore, to some extent.

i just got back from Hong Kong today where I spent some good quality time with my mom and sis over shopping and feasting. spent the prior two weeks with Andrew in Beijing. being able to go sightseeing or even rushing through the Chinese crowd – i really enjoyed our time together.

so it’s part 1 and 2 of grad trip is now completed, and i’m off to ho chi minh city and cambodia tmr with the girls. i really liked how my grad trip was categorized and planned, of course not consciously. some time with the bf, some time with my family and also some for the girls.

i’ve been more than thankful for all the travelling opportunities and also to see Andrew, TY God! ๐Ÿ™‚

Hakuna Matata

I finally caught The Lion Kingย at Marina Bay Sands yesterday night!

I’ll start off by saying that I was really, extremely impressed by the entire production. I was seated at the back yet because of the magnitude of the costumes, I still managed to enjoy the entire performance despite not being able to see every detail of the costume or actors. The feeling I got was one like a little kid who was entering Disneyland for the first time. I’ve only caught a few international performances thus far, one being Mary Poppins on Broadway when I was in New York last year and this, I’d dare say, is the best! Now I know why The Lion King was sold out on Broadway when I was there, but my sis has bought tickets to the Broadway performance since she’s heading there soon. It was our first time at the MBS theatre and the top few tiers isn’t as steep as the Esplanade, even my grandmother commented that the sound system was good!

Despite that, my intention in this post was to pen down my initial reactions to the musical. Sure, I was blown away. But when the music started playing with grandeur with The Circle of Life, and the performers started moving out one by one with precision and accuracy, it brought tears to my eyes. I was happy yet I was sad. I knew my emotions stemmed from wanting to be like them, and to be a part of a theatrical performance, which I know has always been my dream. It’s not to say that I cannot but rather, I do not know how or what else I should do.

This morning, I referred back to the tweet which Kimiko Glenn replied to and I was encouraged. With everything, the best thing to do right now as aptly put in The Lion King is Hakuna Matata – no worries ๐Ÿ˜‰

Oh yes, I got the musical soundtrack as a souvenir and I am lovinnnnnnnnnnn it!

The Lee Family

The Lee Family

Picked up painting (kinda), and it’s addictive! I did most of this and touching up by my sis, but idea is always hers.

This one is in black and white, glad it turned out fine!

Go pick up a new hobby!!

colourful world

This is the outcome after 3 hours of listlessness. I wasted a lot of time in the last 1.5 hours because of a stupid method I tried which involved filling it in bit by bit. But I’m glad I’ve learnt how to do this, and I’ve picked up new photoshop skills today! I probably need to change the colour of his shirt, because it just looks weird against the colour of A’s skin. The colours should also be more distinct against each other, I am still using pretty safe colours for now.

Try this out! ๐Ÿ™‚

credit: forgodandtruth.com

It’s 2am now. I spent the past 3 hours planning for my lessons till their exams in September, formulated questions in full document format, and simply hoped. After my setback two weeks ago, it’s time for battle tomorrow. I’ve dreamt about it, which goes to show how stressed I am about everything. I’ve prayed to God countless times, and I can only hope ย for the best. I’ll take whatever the kids choose to do in the end. If anything at all, I told myself that I need to work harder.

Also, my initial post was actually about the importance of prayer in a relationship. For all kinds of reasons one may come up with, I personally find that prayer is important especially when you hope that God takes your relationship in the right path and in the best way possible. Every Sunday in church, I pray to God for guidance with regards to Andrew and I. Because of the utmost uncertainty there is in ours, I can only put in my best and pray. Also, I find myself telling Andrew more frequently to “pray for me”!! These was especially so during my setback at drama, FYP deadline and my final exams. It comforts me when I know that someone is praying for me, but whether he/she does in the end, that’s another story, lol! I’ll give the benefit of the doubt. Tonight, before I ended our call, I told Andrew once again to pray for me – because of tomorrow. It occurred to me and gladdens my heart that I have been inching bits and pieces of religion into him – going to church more frequently when he accompanies my family, praying for me, and just basically learning to trust in God and have faith. My family and I don’t pray together, by that, I mean out loud and for a specific cause or purpose. We never had that habit. But, I hope one day, Andrew and I can comfortably pray together, be it for a friend, or to just give thanks : )

Meanwhile, I’m happy with whatever I can get : )


This picture which was taken today while waiting for Koi marks the end of my undergraduate life! Perhaps to say, no more books, more fries? Haha no I kid. Seriously. As much as I love my fries, I do know how detrimental it is to my health because it’s oily, trans-fat, deep fried etc etc. Hey, it’s been a while since I had them!

So I got fries and Koi today to reward myself after such a heavy semester. Three modules (two being lit cores), one FYP, and classes to teach on Saturday. I can truly pat myself on my back and tell myself, “well done!” Lol, not being shy here. I think this semester has taken so much of determination and faith, and now that I have absolutely nothing to do for the next one and a half months before I really start racking my brains over finding a job, I wonder how I had managed to do all that. It seemed just a while back when I sent Andrew off to the airport in January, seeing him in February, people asking me when I graduate and I always told them “I still have my FYP to do, a few months more!” and now… I am done, with school. At least, for now. A Masters degree is not in the works yet, so yes.

It’s funny how we always hope for school and exams to end, and when it does, you actually miss it. I got a little emotional today, by emotional I don’t mean teary but my heart ached a little, when I had posted a Facebook status saying I was done with school and everyone gave their heartiest congratulations. I had conquered my first significant milestone of my life, and time had passed so fast. I felt I wasn’t ready to face the real world where I truly believe people are never as sincere as they are in school. I wanted to forever have the freedom which I now hold. But alas, I know that cannot be.

Whilst I am frequently urged by my sister to find a job, I eventually will. I just want to take my time to smell the flowers during these 1.5 months and then, its time to pull my socks. I will post a picture post the next time round of my undergraduate life – it has been nothing but spectacular, fruitful and a humbling experience. I’ve met friends to last me a lifetime, enjoyed the life as an undergraduate both in hall, on exchange, and in a local university. I’ve seen the nasty and the good, and I’ve laughed and smiled so much during these four years. It’s definitely a close fight between university and secondary school to the happiest times in my many years of education.

So, 19 years later (I’m counting nursery, that is, starting at the age of 4), I am done with school. I cheekily remarked to my Dad earlier, “I’ve fulfilled your wish”. It’s always been my Dad’s wish for all of us to finish university. So, I’m number two, and I’m done! (I’m assuming and crossing my fingers that my FYP and mods go well!!!)

In the meantime, I’ll be reading a lot, bumming (definitely), travelling a fair bit (I’ll be away almost during the entire month of June) and trying to make the most of my time. I’ll be trying vlogging, which I shall attempt during the trip with my lit friends) and hopefully a collab with Audrey and maybe Juls happens soon too.

Till the next post, ^^v!!