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Archive for the ‘it’s difficult sometimes’ Category

Sorry you’ve been neglected :<

I’ve started work – this coming week will be my fourth – and it’s been sapping all of my energy! It’s a fairly fast-paced environment, thus training me to have better time management, and this, I admit, is quite a fail for me. I’ve been enjoying it so far, the friends I’ve made at work have been great, just need to clear my head and move forward!

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Yes, it’s difficult sometimes.

Why have things gotten much more difficult after graduation? I think the number one question that is on every graduate’s  unemployed graduate’s mind is, “what next?” Maybe I should have been as job hungry and kiasu as those who found a job even before they graduated. Wrong move? I don’t know. Perhaps.

As much as I love lazing around, I find it slightly disgusting that I am not making the most out of my time when I am at home. Sure there are things to do in the meantime – go out with friends, take a chill pill, read, clean the house? Of course, apply for jobs. But hey, it’s not that easy as they make it out to be. You have to painstakingly source for them, and we all know that in our industry, it’s difficult.

Start from the very bottom? I guess. But we are after all, honours graduates at the end of the day. Gah, this lamenting seems to be going around in circles with no conclusive answer. I hate the fact that I seem to be at the losing end of things. Everything ahead is a blur and a huge question mark.

Yes, maybe I should really take a chill pill.

… but every minute wasted, is a minute that could be productively spent on work.

…and yes, another minute wasted.

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I finally caught The Lion King at Marina Bay Sands yesterday night!

I’ll start off by saying that I was really, extremely impressed by the entire production. I was seated at the back yet because of the magnitude of the costumes, I still managed to enjoy the entire performance despite not being able to see every detail of the costume or actors. The feeling I got was one like a little kid who was entering Disneyland for the first time. I’ve only caught a few international performances thus far, one being Mary Poppins on Broadway when I was in New York last year and this, I’d dare say, is the best! Now I know why The Lion King was sold out on Broadway when I was there, but my sis has bought tickets to the Broadway performance since she’s heading there soon. It was our first time at the MBS theatre and the top few tiers isn’t as steep as the Esplanade, even my grandmother commented that the sound system was good!

Despite that, my intention in this post was to pen down my initial reactions to the musical. Sure, I was blown away. But when the music started playing with grandeur with The Circle of Life, and the performers started moving out one by one with precision and accuracy, it brought tears to my eyes. I was happy yet I was sad. I knew my emotions stemmed from wanting to be like them, and to be a part of a theatrical performance, which I know has always been my dream. It’s not to say that I cannot but rather, I do not know how or what else I should do.

This morning, I referred back to the tweet which Kimiko Glenn replied to and I was encouraged. With everything, the best thing to do right now as aptly put in The Lion King is Hakuna Matata – no worries 😉

Oh yes, I got the musical soundtrack as a souvenir and I am lovinnnnnnnnnnn it!

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credit: forgodandtruth.com

It’s 2am now. I spent the past 3 hours planning for my lessons till their exams in September, formulated questions in full document format, and simply hoped. After my setback two weeks ago, it’s time for battle tomorrow. I’ve dreamt about it, which goes to show how stressed I am about everything. I’ve prayed to God countless times, and I can only hope  for the best. I’ll take whatever the kids choose to do in the end. If anything at all, I told myself that I need to work harder.

Also, my initial post was actually about the importance of prayer in a relationship. For all kinds of reasons one may come up with, I personally find that prayer is important especially when you hope that God takes your relationship in the right path and in the best way possible. Every Sunday in church, I pray to God for guidance with regards to Andrew and I. Because of the utmost uncertainty there is in ours, I can only put in my best and pray. Also, I find myself telling Andrew more frequently to “pray for me”!! These was especially so during my setback at drama, FYP deadline and my final exams. It comforts me when I know that someone is praying for me, but whether he/she does in the end, that’s another story, lol! I’ll give the benefit of the doubt. Tonight, before I ended our call, I told Andrew once again to pray for me – because of tomorrow. It occurred to me and gladdens my heart that I have been inching bits and pieces of religion into him – going to church more frequently when he accompanies my family, praying for me, and just basically learning to trust in God and have faith. My family and I don’t pray together, by that, I mean out loud and for a specific cause or purpose. We never had that habit. But, I hope one day, Andrew and I can comfortably pray together, be it for a friend, or to just give thanks : )

Meanwhile, I’m happy with whatever I can get : )

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It has been difficult to concentrate on getting my work done today.

I spent one hour tossing and turning in bed last night trying to get to sleep. Panic seeped in because of my uncompleted essay that is due in a few days and of the kids’ performance in two weeks.

Today, I received news that a friend from junior college had passed on this morning.

It is tough news to bear, and although we haven’t kept in contact since JC except by being ‘friends’ on Facebook, it still saddened me. All of us are about to graduate, ready to start living life, and instead she was called home to the Lord. In times of difficulty, we know that God has a plan for all of us.

About a week back, a friend’s friend had also passed on. Coincidentally, she was one of my ‘friends’ on Livejournal.

Please pray for those who have passed on before us, and remember that life is short. So let’s start living and showing your love and care for those around you.

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Time to time, I post on my blog and Twitter creative ideas which I bring to classes weekly. Because of the stress and difficulties which I have experienced in class recently, which often times leads me to feel as if I’m going to get an asthma attack, that has been a cause of concern for me. A few posts back, I blogged about how tough it was to be a teacher.

Yesterday was my breaking point.

Whilst I am not going to elaborate on what happened because it has passed, and I hope to pick myself up, push myself forward and focus on improving myself and on greater things, but I was and am still undeniably, hurt.

I returned home crying and to many questions where I asked myself, “Is my best not good enough?”

I often tell myself, “do your best and God will do the rest”, but that did not seem to be happening. At least, for yesterday. I am glad that despite the setback which I faced, I never once did shift the blame away, or question God.

Instead, I saw the beauty of the people around me. I am thankful for my colleagues who make up the supportive work environment I am in and I think this is very hard to come by, and also, Andrew who is ever so patient, Sheralyn, PS and Faith.

My brother and sister have also been strong pillars of my support. Although my brother just listened to me as I cried uncontrollably, he showed his love in other ways – calling back to ask if I wanted bubble tea. Also, my sister who listened and said, “that’s working life”. She is one person who also gives me the hardest truth, even if I like hearing it or not.

So, in hindsight, this setback is going to be a small one in years to come, and I choose to continuously give thanks to God for all that he has done for me and pray that things will be better.

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Can someone please tell me how someone like Grace Park who plays Kono in Hawaii Five O, looks so good even at the age of 37???

37!! 

I don’t know about you, but when I first saw her on screen, I thought at the most, she would have been in her late 20s. But, 37?? Sorry, brb let me go comprehend this first.

credit to oneasianworld.com

credit to accesshollywood.com

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